‘My BF doesn’t want me dressing like the women he watches on social media.’ AITA?


“My BF doesn't want me to dress like the women he sees on social media…”

My (22F) bf (22M) and I have been together for ten months. Lately I've noticed that on social media, he looks at/pays attention to other women who wear clothes that reveal a lot of skin. I am respectful and dress relatively modestly out of respect for myself and my boyfriend.

He mentioned how it was one of the things he liked about me. How beautiful I am even without the need to wear less clothes. But now, I don't like to feel that my humility is in vain. So, I told him if he's allowed to admire women he doesn't want me to dress as, that's fine, but I'll also dress like the women he's paying attention to. He didn't like it very much.

Now he is saying that I am overreacting, but I just said that I will change my style. If he can appreciate women who dress like that, why can't I wear the same clothes? If he didn't want me to wear clothes that showed too much skin and really wanted me to dress modestly, then why is he encouraging this behavior by giving attention to women who dress like this?

He says it's not the same thing and I'm being unfair. I told him I feel like my modesty is getting me nowhere with him and I am feeling unappreciated so I will dress how I want and if he has a problem with that then he can leave . Now he is angry at me.

edit:

I just wanted to add that I don't feel jealous of his looking at women. He always expresses how obsessed he is with my body because I have a small waist and big butt (exactly his type). It's more that I don't think it's fair to necessarily support women doing/wearing things he doesn't want me to do/wear. It's this double standard that bothers me. Am I being unfair?

What top commentators have to say about this:

HazMedic82 Said:

So does he want to offend other women by saying no to you? he sounds like a loser

novel-scholarlol Said:

NTA- You are too young to deal with that nonsense. Enjoy life and find someone mature who doesn't differentiate between a “hoe” and “wife material.” Other than that, dress however you want. You don't have to dress modestly out of respect for her. You should do this because it really makes you comfortable and is part of your personality.

tootired4dissh#t Said:”

esh. You are an insecure “pick me” who plays petty games and insults women for dressing different than you. Your boyfriend is controlling the way they dress and is clearly enjoying it, but he only wants you to cover yourself up so other people won't look at you. You both suck and probably deserve each other.

worldly-matter215 Said:

NTA. Life's too short for this weird possessive sh#t. Wear what makes you happy, and if he can't handle it, he can keep his “social media hoe” to himself until you find a better man.

no-satisfaction-325 Said:

ISH- You both sound like children and there is no point in being in a relationship.

rich_ad_1642 Said:

Nta got a new bf because no one should tell their partner how to dress. You can wear whatever clothes you want. If you like to be modest in your clothes then do so and feel good about it, but don't do things just to get her approval.. and she shouldn't decide how you dress

Although opinion was divided on the issue, most people agreed that all those involved were guilty. What is your advice to these hopeful soon-to-be-exposed?

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